My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the day after is always just damage control
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
