Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
this hospital has no fireball
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
