I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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