He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
