wat bout pragnant strippers??
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I need to sanitize my soul.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
