I must be too annoying 4 u.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
