this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Houston, we have a squirter
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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