Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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