i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
These tits shall not be calmed
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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