sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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