hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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