I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
