i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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