What did we do last night that was yellow?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
