But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
