Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
