Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
