I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
