I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
