wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
