I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
