I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
