Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
