another moral hangover. fuck.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
