Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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