1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
