Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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