You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
