Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
i need some magic done to my vagina
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
