Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
