oh god the rape fog is back!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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