Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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