I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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