I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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