JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
