She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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