I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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