I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
