He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
