I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
