he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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