Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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