i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize