Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
