everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
whose parrot is this?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
