I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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