We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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