Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
