"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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