Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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