Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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