Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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